The Funny Bone

Hipster Coffee

Q: How did the hipster burn his tongue?
A: He drank his coffee before it was cool.

A man walked into a bar in Scotland, sat down and ordered a drink. Next to him was a leathery old Scotsman, well into the bottle in front of him.

With a 5 lb potato bag in each hand, extend your arms straight out from your sides and hold them there as long as you can. Try to reach a full minute, and then relax. Each day you will find that you can hold this position for just a bit longer than the last.

Three men were at the gates of heaven, but there was only room for one person. St. Peter asked each of them how they died, and the best story would get through:

When the smoke cleared, a genie was standing there. This genie said to me, "Thank you for freeing me from my 5,000-year confinement. For doing this, I will grant you two wishes."